A Faint Shadow

Taking down Christmas

2011-12-29T09:12:00.001-06:00

Every year I dread taking down the tree. Not so with my sister Lena and friend Loretta. Loretta told me she took down her tree before her girls woke up one Christmas Day! I hear that Christmas decorations are not to be taken down until epiphany. Well, that puts it way into January. Fine with me. Mine are staying up.

Great memory of making gingerbread cookies with Miles & Lilian

Mom's old ornaments:

Video of Miles playing at Great Wolf Lodge

2011-12-27T22:01:00.003-06:00

Miles playing in the fountain at Great Wolf from Julie Thiessen on Vimeo.

Password: Psalm23

Sophie & her new camera

2011-12-27T08:04:00.007-06:00

Sophie seems to be a little obsessed with her new camera. She especially loves the special effects. Lili is already sick of having her picture taken and screams when Sophie comes near with the thing. I will post some of her first pictures she took--

Miles singing the ABC song

2011-12-22T09:30:00.003-06:00

I'll put this on my blog. I have a feeling if I post ONE more picture or video of my grandkids on Facebook, my friends are going to start de-friending me. I just happen to love this kid to pieces and I think everything he does is darn cute!

Phos Hilaron (O Gladsome/Joyous Light)

2011-10-30T09:09:00.005-05:00

Melanie--

I could not facebook or email you these pictures for some reason, but I was able to upload them to my blog. This is the perfect room for a home for your painting...

**This slipper chair is the softest leather. It is like sitting on a marshmallow. Michael thinks it looks like Angelina Jolie's lips!

Scrambled Henfruit: Caramel Stuffed Apple Cider Cookies

2011-10-24T11:06:00.001-05:00

Do these cookies ever sound good: (Katie Busenitz posted the recipe on Facebook)

Scrambled Henfruit: Caramel Stuffed Apple Cider Cookies: I am not a bossy person by nature. I pretty much go with the flow- I'm a middle child for heaven's sake. But I'm going to tell you to do ...

The Grandkids' school pictures 2011~2012

2011-10-06T15:10:00.002-05:00

While we wait for her re-take (I guess she was not happy with her first school pic try):

Mason~5th grade

Sophie~Kindergarten
Chloe~waiting on a retake

Quotes by Seneca

2011-08-22T09:31:00.002-05:00

“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.” ~ Seneca

The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation, which depend upon the future. We let go the present, which we have in our power, and look forward to that which depends upon chance, and so relinquish a certainty for an uncertainty.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca, (4 BC - 65) Roman Philosopher & Playwright

Bike ride stuff

2011-08-04T08:57:00.002-05:00

I love to look at all the beautiful front doors on my bike rides in the morning. I always wondered why I could see chaise lounge chairs and sunlite through these windowed doors. I looked it up on Google earth.

Amazing--there is a pool right inside those front doors. How fun would that be?

All is Grace - a new book by Brennan Manning

2011-08-04T05:28:00.000-05:00

A link to a story...

2011-07-04T12:59:00.003-05:00

http://www.marinerschurch.org/theshack/av/tuesday-video.html

This is the marvelous behind-the-scenes story of The Shack. If you want to hear about the soul (the shack) of the author, William P. Young, then take time out to listen to this 73 minute story. It will bless your soul (your own shack).

My bird nest

2011-07-02T22:23:00.009-05:00

//melanie-eagspot.com/2011/07/now-that-hot-month-of-june-is-over.html

It was fun to read about the meaning of colors after I drew this bird nest. These are some things about the colors of my eggs and birds in my nests:

yellow & pink: (Michele)
intellectual energy
pure, bright and sunny
energy of a bright, sunny day
active and alert mind
sharp memory and concentration skills
ability to express themselves
(Pink wings: neutralize disorder; lover of beauty)

green: (KT)
learning, growth and harmony
symbolizes money
desire to expand or increase
ability to sustain changes
(purple wings: imagination and inspiration)

red (JT)
passionate love
color of blood: symbolizes life and survival
focus on the essence of life
(turquoise wings: confidence & strength)

silver & black (Cody)
black (wings)--threatening unknown; mysterious; power, strength and depth
silver--witty; "mirror of the soul"

blue & brown (Matt)
brown (wings)--connection with the natural earth; stay in the background; stability
blue--calming; truth; new information; solitude and peace

gold & orange (Melanie)
orange (wings)--curiosity and exploration of new things; creativity; adjusts to changes
gold--has warmth that silver does not have; extravagance; bright & cheerful; valuable; favored person

Sophie: green, especially the love of nature
Lili: pink, especially the lover of beauty
Miles: yellow, especially the energy of a bright, sunny day
Chloe: turquoise (combines the light blue of the sky with the invigorating green of the seas)

"more to do with feeling and creative expression than with rational thought"
Mason: blue & orange (peace and exploration)

Look who I found in my closet:

2011-06-28T21:08:00.000-05:00

Lili-Belle!

RV trip to Dr. Brooks' Lake--June 2011

2011-06-22T14:27:00.004-05:00

Dr. Brooks & Matt

(Click to enlarge)

CLYDE!!

Customize a free photo slideshow

Darin Unruh's Amazing Story!

2011-06-06T06:02:00.002-05:00

Darin is KT's cousin's son--Dave & Betty Unruh. He is such an inspiration!

A few more pictures from the Vista Farm

2011-05-16T14:05:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure this tree has been growing in this car for a pretty long time:

This one, too:

I love peonies

2011-05-16T11:11:00.004-05:00

The wild roses were in full bloom at the Vista Farm--they were just beautiful!

Peonies from the little Oliver Farm:

Peonies on Cody's Grandfather's Vista, MO farm

The 3 little Thiessens visit the Prewitt farm

2011-05-06T16:25:00.005-05:00

(Click on picture to enlarge)

My Brother, Butch

2011-04-28T08:47:00.001-05:00

April 28, 1946 - February 4, 1974

Myrle would be 65 now. It is so strange when someone dies at a young age. You can't imagine them being any older. He will always be 27 years old.

Chloe & her snowman

2011-04-27T17:04:00.004-05:00

I ran across this picture of Chloe today and it reminded me of the ski trip picture...

Favorite thing to do at Great-Grandma's...

2011-04-24T22:15:00.003-05:00

Happy Resurrection Day!

2011-04-23T21:52:00.002-05:00

We were out at the farm today and it was fun walking around seeing all of the surprises coming up out of the dirt--irises, peonies, lilacs, daffodils, etc.

Chloe went with me to the Stations of the Cross on Good Friday at the Spiritual Life Center. She whispered that she knew a way to get through this a lot quicker. I tried to tell her that "slow" is the point when you are doing a guided, Catholic meditation labyrinth. I'll try to get a picture of the 15th station (newly added). It is a huge hunk of granite-split down the middle with water running out of it, signifying the resurrection.

The Last Supper

2011-04-22T10:23:00.004-05:00

I heard T.D. Jakes talking about communion yesterday. He was explaining the part about Jesus offering up the bread as His body. Jesus told His disciples to eat the bread. This was going to be the last time they would eat this way in a while, but He told them that after Pentecost, He would still be with them--just in a new form. He would be dwelling inside of them.

I think that is the most creative thing that the God of the Universe ever came up with.

Lili having fun with photo booth

2011-04-08T15:55:00.001-05:00

Miles singing/Lilian laughing

2011-04-07T21:53:00.001-05:00

ABC song by Lilian

2011-04-05T16:35:00.002-05:00

Our Farm

2011-03-30T17:04:00.004-05:00

Tom & Lena's grandkids enjoyed a day of exploring at the farm--here they are eating apples. If they only knew how many apples Lena ate when she was little. She left her apple cores everywhere (piano, side of the bathtub, window sills, etc.).

Thursdays at Zamma's

2011-02-25T09:18:00.003-06:00

Today's project was making flower arrangements. Can you guess which is Lili's? Let me tell you, she did not want ANY help. Sophie's is the one on the right--it had to be a perfect bunch and all of the flowers had to be alike. Then Lili took pictures of them with my camera. The blur in the 2nd picture is Sophie trying to get in the picture.

Lili made a circle on the floor with a necklace and said, "Let's play like these are my rainboots and this is a puddle."

Zamma turns ??

2011-02-25T09:10:00.003-06:00

Flowers from KT (delivered by Don Sweet)

Strawberry Chantilly Cake (Bagatelle Bakery) from Lena
Chocolate Sheet Cake made by ❤Chloe❤
It all added up to a perfect day!

Chloe turned 14!

2011-02-17T08:19:00.000-06:00

Part IV -- The back of my Genogram Valentine

2011-02-15T14:06:00.004-06:00

(click to enlarge)

Valentine (Part III)

2011-02-15T13:23:00.008-06:00

My sweet Chloe--the first of my God-sent Valentine grands:

My favorite picture of Mason ever, hangs next to my Grandma Jost who died when my Dad was only 2 years old. That is her next to my Grandpa in the red heart. How perfect to have her embellished with pearls--some people believe that pearls form when angels pass through the clouds of heaven. I have always heard that she was a wonderful person who could sing like an angel. I knew 4 of her 5 children, so in some ways, I feel like I knew her. She lived on through them.

Part II "Concatanare"--I love my new word!

2011-02-15T11:05:00.006-06:00

We are never too old to learn new words. My new word to describe my genogram is from a Latin word, "concatanare", which means "to link together". I look at this line of people who I love dearly and realize that most of them never met each other. The only common denominator is ME! I love them all--and I have even never met some of the people on my family ribbon.

Sophie Juliet starts out my genogram on the left side. Next to her are my great-grandparents (Jost) who died before I was born. My relationship to them is the same that my relationship will be to Sophie's children. It is so hard to believe that I know so little about them. I only met 2 of my great-uncles in that family picture.

My sister, Lena. Love the red jewel that Melanie added:
This next part of the chain is interesting.

My brother who died at age 27 (37 years ago),

My little grandson, Miles,

and my great-grandfather Priebe, the father of my dear grandmother--my father's mother. I never met my grandmother or Great-Grandpa Priebe. They were gone too soon from this life...

My Amazing Genogram Valentine! from Melanie (Part I)

2011-02-15T10:06:00.008-06:00

Who in the world would think of creating a genogram for Valentine's Day for her dear old Mom? An 8' long Valentine--embellished with crystals, pearls, wax seals, and glitter? She and Matthew are conspicuously absent on my strand of concatenation*. I must add them ASAP. Oh, she also forgot another important person (my Dad). I must add these 3 people soon, as the line is not complete without them!

* - Concatenation (from Latin concatenare, to link together) is taking two or more separately located things and placing them side-by-side next to each other so that they can now be treated as one thing.

Today I have been studying my Valentine. I took pictures of it in segments. I LOVE this segment: Lili Ruth and Ruth. 2 people who I love dearly. I surely do hope my Mom is able to look down from heaven and see this little angel who shares her name! I love them being next to each other on my genogram Valentine. One meaning given for the name, Ruth is, "vision of beauty". I just know my Mom would love this little girl to pieces!

This is a precious segment of my lineage--the 3 grandparents I had in my life. I was only 4 years old when my Grandpa Jost died, but I have carried my love for him in my heart all of my life. I remember that he loved to hold me. My Grandpa Ensz lived to almost 100--I loved him and Grandma with all of my heart!
I still have a lot of my Valentine to share...

Sweet Little Lili

2011-01-25T16:58:00.005-06:00

"The light of the righteous shines bright..." Proverbs 13:9

Lili had so much fun taking pictures with my camera. She would take a picture of her dolly and then preview it saying, "awww...that's so cute!"

Sounds like a perfect resolution for 2011:

2011-01-19T13:18:00.001-06:00

"I’m tired of theological debate. Let’s go out: go and live deliberately; love deeply; serve humbly; laugh wildly; embrace kindly; share without measure. You are the package the Gift is wrapped in. Rivers of living water will flow from your innermost being. Christ is in you: the expectation of glory." - Willem Boshoff

YOU ARE THE PACKAGE THE GIFT IS WRAPPED IN!

Quote by Betty Smith

2011-01-19T12:55:00.001-06:00

"Look at everything as though you were seeing it for the first time or last time.

Then your time on earth will be filled with glory."

"They come through you but not from you..."

2011-01-19T09:56:00.005-06:00

"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that
is stable."

-- Kahlil Gibran

✿✿HaPpY BiRtHdAy, Miss Sophie✿✿

2011-01-05T10:12:00.006-06:00

You stole our hearts the first time we laid eyes on you...

5 years old! Ta-da!

for Melanie-Pearl:

2011-01-03T09:42:00.005-06:00

For the Artist at the Start of the Day

May morning be astir with the harvest of night;
Your mind quickening to the eros of a new question,
Your eyes seduced by some unintended glimpse
That cut right through the surface to a source.

May this be a morning of innocent beginning,
When the gift within you slips clear
Of the sticky web of the personal
With its hurt and its hauntings,
And fixed fortress corners,

A Morning when you become a pure vessel
For what wants to ascend from silence,

May your imagination know
The grace of perfect danger,

To reach beyond imitation,
And the wheel of repetition,

Deep into the call of all
The unfinished and unsolved

Until the veil of the unknown yields
And something original begins
To stir toward your senses
And grow stronger in your heart

In order to come to birth
In a clean line of form,
That claims from time
A rhythm not yet heard,
That calls space to
A different shape.

May it be its own force field
And dwell uniquely
Between the heart and the light

To surprise the hungry eye
By how deftly it fits
About its secret loss.

John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings

Old photos

2010-12-29T17:36:00.005-06:00

Melanie gave me this picture on Christmas Day of my Grandfather Jost and his 7 brothers. I just love seeing pictures I have never seen before--especially of people I love. I was only 4 years old when he died, but I remember being held by him. He was 6'2" and he is the shortest one in the back row. Must be where my brother got his height. I love to look at this picture because I can see my Dad in Grandpa--I can see my brother in him--and I can see my nephew in him. Grandpa died in 1954 and I still love him. Love that amazing feeling.

Grandpa is the 3rd boy from the left, 2nd row

Was Jesus Born on December 25? (from Perry Stone Ministries)

2010-12-24T11:43:00.002-06:00

Jewish Holy Days: The Making of a Baby

Zola Levitt discovered an amazing correlation between Jewish Holy Days and the gestation of a human baby, from conception to birth. While preparing for writing a book for new parents, Zola contacted a gynecologist for some help in understanding gestation. During that session, the gynecologist showed him a series of pictures, pointed to the first one (an egg and a sperm) and said, "On the fourteenth day of the first month, the egg appears." The statement struck a chord in his Jewish mind because that was the date of Passover. He remembered the roasted egg on his family table every Passover. Now, for the first time, he knew what it meant! Not wanting to lead the gynecologist off from the subject at hand, he didn't say anything, but continued to listen.

The gynecologist continued: "The egg must be fertilized within 24 hours, or it will pass on." This reminded Zola of the Feast of Unleavened Bread and the seed or grain that "fell into the ground and died" in order to produce a harvest, the first-fruits of which was presented to God.

Next, the gynecologist said, "Within two to six days, the fertilized egg attaches itself to the wall of the womb and begins to grow." And, sure enough, the Jewish evangelist thought, "The Feast of First-fruits is observed anywhere from two to six days after Passover!"

Next, he was shown a photo of an embryo showing arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes, a head, eyes, etc. The caption said, "Fifty days." The gynecologist continued, "Around the fiftieth day, the embryo takes on the form of a human being. Until then, we don't know if we have a duck or a tadpole." Zola thought, "That's Pentecost!"

The next picture showed the embryo at seven months. The gynecologist said, "On the first day of the seventh month, the baby's hearing is developed. For the first time, it can hear and distinguish sounds outside the womb." Zola knew that was the date for the Jewish Festival of Trumpets.

The gynecologist continued, "On the tenth day of the seventh month, the hemoglobin of the blood changes from that of the mother, to a self-sustaining baby." Zola thought, "That's the Day of Atonement, when the blood was taken into the Holy of hollies!"

Next, the gynecologist said, "On the fifteenth day of the seventh month, the lungs become fully developed. If born before then, the baby would have a hard time breathing." And Zola thought, "That's the festival of Tabernacles, a time of celebrating the Temple, home of the Shekinah glory or Spirit of God." In the New Testament, the Greek term pneuma, normally translated as "breath," is applied to the "Holy Spirit."

Birth takes place on the tenth day of the ninth month. Eight days after birth, in Jewish families, a son is circumcised. Zola noted that the eight days of Hanukkah are celebrated right on schedule, EIGHT months and ten days after Passover.

does this kid ever stand still?

2010-12-19T21:18:00.000-06:00

Sophie's Christmas Program @ Hope

2010-12-16T08:23:00.000-06:00

❤❤Christmas 1954❤❤

2010-12-13T10:32:00.004-06:00

❤❤HaPpY BiRtHdAy, Lili Ruth❤❤

2010-12-09T07:58:00.004-06:00

Some of my favorite pictures of Lili...

String the pearls of God's favor...

2010-11-26T02:19:00.001-06:00

Rescued Hummingbird

2010-11-12T06:59:00.001-06:00

Lullaby from "Hereafter"

2010-11-02T10:43:00.002-05:00

Hauntingly beautiful...

Thursday at Zamma's

2010-10-21T19:18:00.002-05:00

Lili always starts at the left of the paint box and works her way very methodically to the left.

He is such a noisy boy!

The Thunderbirds -- September 2010 (KT's pics)

2010-09-30T16:55:00.001-05:00

Make a digital slideshow

Another happy animal (Giraffe) by Sophie...

2010-09-24T10:31:00.001-05:00

Sophie's Butterfly

2010-09-16T18:28:00.000-05:00

This picture just makes me smile : )

2010-09-11T10:23:00.005-05:00

Sophie drew this picture yesterday. I just love the way she drew the horse. Have you ever seen such a happy horse? And what is with the way she draws herself and Michele? The tummy seems to be a very important part of the person! Anyway, she & Michele are very happy in this drawing. She even has a turquoise rubberband around her ponytail! Just love that girl!

2010-09-10T10:07:00.000-05:00

Lucky #9

2010-09-09T15:53:00.002-05:00

Cutest picture ever of this little guy:

Personalize a greeting

C.S. Lewis quote...

2010-09-06T12:18:00.000-05:00

"We read to know that we are not alone."

One of my favorite songs...

2010-09-01T08:06:00.001-05:00

"O great mystery and sacrament"

Psalm 91 for the Haiti Team...

2010-08-10T09:52:00.009-05:00

(Matt & Jason on the right)
Psalm 91
You who sit down in the High God's presence, spend the night in Shaddai's shadow,
Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
I trust in you and I'm safe!"
That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you're perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God's your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can't get close to you,
harm can't get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they'll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.
(The Message)

Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
"With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation.
(New American Standard)

Lili won! Pretty Little Princess

2010-08-03T13:13:00.002-05:00

Sophie kept making silly faces--I tried to get one good one...

Sister love

2010-08-01T11:45:00.001-05:00

My bike ride this morning...

2010-07-28T16:13:00.003-05:00

I love this back yard--see the hammock? I see this place every day--sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening, but I have yet to see anyone in this yard. I will show you the front yard as soon as I can get a chance to take a picture--there always seems to be someone working in the flowerbeds.

I see these bronze kids playing on this waterfall every morning, too.

Noisy Little Boy

2010-07-24T16:21:00.003-05:00

Pretty front doors I see on my bike rides in the A.M.

2010-07-16T15:58:00.001-05:00

I like to move it, move it by Lili Ruth

2010-07-15T22:06:00.003-05:00

Talk about a big sky!

2010-07-10T09:11:00.004-05:00

We went to see the wild mustangs (2300 of them) who roam on the Shadow Valley Ranch--it is such a wide open space. The mustang pasture is 5500 acres!

4th of July picnic

2010-07-03T07:58:00.006-05:00

Gram-gram always enjoys fishing!
Sophie is celebrating her 1/2 birthday:

Brady & Mason on the rope swing:

2 cute girls!

2010-06-27T22:17:00.002-05:00

We took Savannah and Chloe to camp in Arkansas today. Chloe spilled syrup all over her shorts and then a little later, spilled a cooler of ice water in her lap. 660 miles later, we are home, safe and sound. I hope the camp is ready for these two!

Trying to get 1 good picture

2010-06-25T16:12:00.002-05:00

Visit to Aunt Irene's

2010-06-22T08:54:00.002-05:00

Lena and I had such a good time visiting Aunt Irene in Oak Ridge, Tennessee! We talked a mile a minute, about everything from A to Z. We both loved her house--it sits on 3 wooded acres. She and Uncle Jerry built it about 45 years ago. Sadly, he passed away about a year and a half ago. It is such a peaceful place and filled with lots of memories.

We had a spectacular dinner--she made Greek stuffed chicken breasts and all the fixings to go with them. Then she topped it off with a homemade cheesecake--delicious! All by candlelight.

The next day we had a candle lit lunch with her. We were able to spend the entire day together while the guys were out riding the Tail of the Dragon. We spent most of the time on our knees praying they would get back safely : )

Easter 1943

2010-06-08T20:10:00.001-05:00

I found an old picture of Mom & Dad that I had never seen before--love it!

2010-06-07T21:20:00.002-05:00

Matthew 5:5 (The Message)

⁵"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

Western Kansas - May 2010

2010-05-29T09:56:00.000-05:00

Playtime

2010-05-28T19:15:00.003-05:00

I took my camera on my bike ride today...

2010-05-25T11:32:00.009-05:00

and I found the perfect place to practice yoga, so I'm going to strap my mat on the carrier of my bike and zip over there! There is a lot of eye candy on the way there, so enjoy the pictures.

Mama geese with their goslings

See that gazebo at the end of the bike path?

My roses are blooming

My blue flowers are blooming (Lobelia)

More of the 3 Ts

2010-05-17T20:49:00.006-05:00

Our little Sophie girl cut herself a fine mullet this last weekend. She very proudly asked me if I liked her haircut. It is a pritty scary piece of work! However, KT and I think she is pretty cute with bangs!

Movie trailer from "Babies":

2010-05-15T14:53:00.004-05:00

I went to see this movie last night with Melanie and Chloe--we loved it! Here are a few scenes from it...

Mother's Day 2010 - flying kites

2010-05-09T14:40:00.005-05:00

Babysitting the 3 Ts

2010-05-06T22:16:00.002-05:00

(All 3 love the massage "papa bear chair")

Lena's turn--April 29

2010-04-29T06:45:00.006-05:00

My brother's birthday today--April 28, 1946

2010-04-28T10:23:00.003-05:00

1974

For Grief

When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.

Flickers of guilt kindle regret
For all that was left unsaid or undone.

There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.

Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.

It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.

More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.

Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.

-- John O’Donohue

2010-04-21T08:31:00.002-05:00

Presents

I give you emptiness

I give you plenitude,

unwrap them carefully –

One’s as fragile as the other –

and when you thank me

I’ll pretend to notice the doubt in your voice

when you say they’re just what you wanted.

Put them on the table by your bed.

When you wake in the morning

they’ll have gone through the door of sleep

into your head. Wherever you go

they’ll go with you and

wherever you are you’ll wonder,

smiling about the fullness

you can’t add to and the emptiness

that you can fill.

Norman MacCaig.

For Melanie-Pearl:

2010-04-14T10:06:00.002-05:00

"If you could imagine the most incredible story ever, it would be less incredible than the story of being here. And the ironic thing is that story is not a story, it is true. It takes us so long to see where we are. It takes us even longer to see who we are. This is why the greatest gift you could ever dream is a gift that you can only receive from one person. And that person is you yourself. Therefore, the most subversive invitation you could ever accept is the invitation to awaken to who you are and where you have landed. Plato said in The Symposium that one of the greatest privileges of a human life is to become midwife to the birth of the soul in another. When your soul awakens, you begin to truly inherit your life. You leave the kingdom of fake surfaces, repetitive talk and weary roles and slip deeper into the true adventure of who you are and who you are called to become. The greatest friend of the soul is the unknown. Yet we are afraid of the unknown because it lies outside our vision and our control. We avoid it or quell it by filtering it through our protective barriers of domestication and control. The normal way never leads home.

Once you start to awaken, no one can ever claim you again for the old patterns. Now you realise how precious your time here is. You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self; your patience grows thin with tired talk and dead language. You see through the rosters of expectation which promise you safety and the confirmation of your outer identity. Now you are impatient for growth, willing to put yourself in the way of change. You want your work to become an expression of your gift. You want your relationship to voyage beyond the pallid frontiers to where the danger of transformation dwells. You want your God to be wild and to call you to where your destiny awaits." --John O'Donohue

Dad's 90th birthday--April 13, 1920

2010-04-13T08:23:00.006-05:00

Been climbing trees I've skinned my knees

My hands are black the sun is going down
She scruffs my hair in the kitchen steam
She's listening to the dream I weaved today
Crosswords through the bathroom door
While someone sings the theme-tune to the news
And my sister buzzes through the room leaving perfume in the air
And that's what triggered this.
I come back here from time to time
I shelter here some days.

A high-back chair. He sits and stares
A thousand yards and whistles
Marching-band (Boom-ching)
Kneeling by and speaking up
He reaches out and I take a
Massive hand. Disjointed tales
That flit between short trousers
And a full dress uniform
And he talks of people ten years
Gone like I've known them all my life
Like scattered black 'n' whites….

(Thanks, Chloe, for the sad Elbow song)

Babysitting the 3 Ts

2010-04-09T21:41:00.001-05:00

My little 9 year old grand-monkey

2010-04-06T20:20:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday, KT⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡The Big 6-Oh!

2010-04-03T16:55:00.004-05:00

May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling and forgiveness.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant or cold in you.
May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship and affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them and may you be there for them, may they bring you all blessings, challenges, truth and light that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam cara (soul friend).

John O’Donohue, from Anam Cara, a book of Celtic Wisdom.

Thoughts on the Seder Meal

2010-04-03T06:50:00.010-05:00

The Foundry joined Wheatland Mission last evening for a Passover Seder meal. Since we are studying the Tabernacle at the Foundry during 2010, it was great to get into more Jewish lessons.

My favorite parts of the seder?

I love the way children ask the questions--"Why is this night different from all other nights?"

I love being "obligated" to drink 4 glasses of wine. I had never polished off a bottle of wine before.

I love to taste things I have never tasted before. Who would have thought that the symbol for mortar (charoset) could be so good? Chopped apples, red wine, honey, walnuts & cinnamon.

I loved the "Dayenu", the account of all of the things God did for the Israelites. Even if He would not have done them all, "it would have been enough for us."

I loved it that of all the children, Kalon found the afikomen!

I love the way grace is said all through the meal--we gave thanks for the fruit of the vine with each glass of wine. It made me want to keep the gratitude going with each blessed meal I am so fortunate to eat.

I loved celebrating with friends whose hearts were also very touched with the retelling of the story of the Exodus.

"L'shanah haba'ah b'Yerushalayim hab'nuyah!" (Next year in Jeruselem!)

Easter Grand-Chicks

2010-04-02T08:00:00.001-05:00

Tenebrae--Holy Saturday 2008

2010-03-30T19:07:00.003-05:00

Tenebrae 08 from M T on Vimeo.

Wheatland Mission 2008

My cute little K-State fan

2010-03-25T16:45:00.001-05:00

March 21, 1943

2010-03-21T04:34:00.003-05:00

Mom & Dad--67 years ago

❤God bless them today and forever❤

2010-03-14T07:12:00.000-05:00

A digital greeting by Smilebox

Naptime at Zamma's

2010-03-11T14:02:00.001-06:00

Mason's short little legs...

2010-03-09T09:32:00.003-06:00

Who would have thought they would ever stretch out like this...

And who would have thought Chloe would grow up so quickly?

Billy/Elton

2010-03-04T18:57:00.004-06:00

(This kind of gives you an idea of just how big the arena is--there were 15,000 at the concert. It also gives you an idea of our view--we were in the 3rd row from the top!)

Melanie's sketch of Mason

2010-02-24T10:42:00.001-06:00

just adorable.

fantabulous birthday

2010-02-24T08:13:00.000-06:00

I received my ashes...

2010-02-20T11:22:00.012-06:00

I received my ashes on Ash Wednesday.

The ashes marked me as one of Christ's own.

I carry that mark on my forehead,

but I let it lodge deep in my soul.

As these ashes are infused with the joy and the sorrow

that abide within the soul of my life,

I let the holiness of those ashes

smolder with all that resides within,

giving birth to something unadulterated,

something so full of Sacred grace,

that it can be offered as a fragrant offering

to the Lord of Heaven.

I am not marked for this Wednesday only.

I am not only marked for this Lenten season,

but it seems to be a marking

that I will carry

forever.

✙

also...

Lili Ruth got her ashes--

wish I had a picture.

This is her sorting rocks at Zamma's:

☆ Chloe is 13 ☆

2010-02-15T22:10:00.007-06:00

"Where did you come from, baby dear?

Out of the everywhere into the here..."

February 16, 1997--Chloe's birthday